I tried to nap 2 different times today and I couldn't sleep. I am so tired. The only thing I can think of is that maybe I am having withdrawls from my medications, specifically my pain meds. I am definitely in pain. I haven't taken pain meds for 2 days. Maybe that is the problem? Makes me nervous.
I also haven't had my trazadone in a few days. I need to go to the pharmacy to pick it up. just been too tired and too broke. We shall see what the night brings!
Keep your fingers crossed that I can sleep! Thanks, M
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Attempt at "normal"
Yesterday was a decent day overall. I didn't feel to bad. My friend invited me to go out for dinner. I decided to try to go. I was tired and had a headache but forced myself to go.
I had fun but it was hard. We had some appetizers and I even had 2 margaritas (over 4 hours). I could have done without the drinks, but it turned out ok. There was live music at about 10:30 pm. I was disappointed in the type of music and the ridiculous people flailing around on the dance floor. I felt really old. It has been a really long time since I went anywhere like this. I think maybe almost a year. I am only 30 years old, but I felt like I was 80! There were a lot of 21 year olds having a great time. I think maybe I was secretly jealous of them. It was like they had no cares in the world! What it would feel like to be that way again!
We stayed a bit longer than I would have liked, but I didn't want to be the "lame" one. So I toughed it out until my friend wanted to leave. This was about 12:15 am! I got home and tried to go to bed. No such luck. I COULD NOT sleep. I didn't take any meds as I had a few drinks, and I was having shooting pains in my arms. I was up until 4:30 am and I am so tired. I wonder if it would have been better to have gone to bed earlier and not go out, but I can't change my decision now. I sure hope my parents will watch the kids so I can take a nap!
I had fun but it was hard. We had some appetizers and I even had 2 margaritas (over 4 hours). I could have done without the drinks, but it turned out ok. There was live music at about 10:30 pm. I was disappointed in the type of music and the ridiculous people flailing around on the dance floor. I felt really old. It has been a really long time since I went anywhere like this. I think maybe almost a year. I am only 30 years old, but I felt like I was 80! There were a lot of 21 year olds having a great time. I think maybe I was secretly jealous of them. It was like they had no cares in the world! What it would feel like to be that way again!
We stayed a bit longer than I would have liked, but I didn't want to be the "lame" one. So I toughed it out until my friend wanted to leave. This was about 12:15 am! I got home and tried to go to bed. No such luck. I COULD NOT sleep. I didn't take any meds as I had a few drinks, and I was having shooting pains in my arms. I was up until 4:30 am and I am so tired. I wonder if it would have been better to have gone to bed earlier and not go out, but I can't change my decision now. I sure hope my parents will watch the kids so I can take a nap!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
What does sick look like?
What does a sick person look like? The reason I ask is because I had a conversation with a total stranger yesterday and I told them about my Lyme disease. They were very nice and understanding, but said to me "but you look good, you don't look sick". I asked her what sick looked like (I probably sounded like a nut, but oh well). She replied with anxiety, "well your eyes are not sunken in, and your color is good". What? That is what a sick person looks like?
I said that many Lyme patients do not look sick therefore are misdiagnosed often as having mental health issues.
I realize that all around me are sick people that I may not notice because they look well. I know a few people with Diabetes that look perfectly fine, but alas they are very ill.
So maybe that person who just cut you off in traffic is chronically ill? Maybe the rude cashier has a pain disorder and that is why she is so grumpy? Maybe the guy at Dunkin Donuts has neurological Lyme disease and that is why he forgot my cream cheese?
I usually get really mad and impatient (maybe Lyme rage) at these people, but maybe I need to slow down and think about others for a minute. Perhaps I am not the only one who is sick?
Sick people do not wear name tags that say, Hi! my name is Melissa and I am sick with Lyme disease.
I think we get so focused on ourselves we forget about the people around us
Melissa
I said that many Lyme patients do not look sick therefore are misdiagnosed often as having mental health issues.
I realize that all around me are sick people that I may not notice because they look well. I know a few people with Diabetes that look perfectly fine, but alas they are very ill.
So maybe that person who just cut you off in traffic is chronically ill? Maybe the rude cashier has a pain disorder and that is why she is so grumpy? Maybe the guy at Dunkin Donuts has neurological Lyme disease and that is why he forgot my cream cheese?
I usually get really mad and impatient (maybe Lyme rage) at these people, but maybe I need to slow down and think about others for a minute. Perhaps I am not the only one who is sick?
Sick people do not wear name tags that say, Hi! my name is Melissa and I am sick with Lyme disease.
I think we get so focused on ourselves we forget about the people around us
Melissa
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