Attempt at "normal"

Yesterday was a decent day overall. I didn't feel to bad. My friend invited me to go out for dinner. I decided to try to go. I was tired and had a headache but forced myself to go.

I had fun but it was hard. We had some appetizers and I even had 2 margaritas (over 4 hours). I could have done without the drinks, but it turned out ok. There was live music at about 10:30 pm. I was disappointed in the type of music and the ridiculous people flailing around on the dance floor. I felt really old. It has been a really long time since I went anywhere like this. I think maybe almost a year. I am only 30 years old, but I felt like I was 80! There were a lot of 21 year olds having a great time. I think maybe I was secretly jealous of them. It was like they had no cares in the world! What it would feel like to be that way again!

We stayed a bit longer than I would have liked, but I didn't want to be the "lame" one. So I toughed it out until my friend wanted to leave. This was about 12:15 am! I got home and tried to go to bed. No such luck. I COULD NOT sleep. I didn't take any meds as I had a few drinks, and I was having shooting pains in my arms. I was up until 4:30 am and I am so tired. I wonder if it would have been better to have gone to bed earlier and not go out, but I can't change my decision now. I sure hope my parents will watch the kids so I can take a nap!